We just got our ninja training schedule for the next academic year.  It turns out we’ll be training in the sports hall at the same time as the Judo class.

I can see rivalries between the two disciplines rapidly growing out of control, so, as any responsible ninja would, I did some research.

I went online to ask the internet “Who would win in a fight, a ninja, or a judo..guy?”

Sadly the internet didn’t have the answer, but I did find the following useful facts about ninja’s:

Facts:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Testimonial:
Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don’t even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town.

Q and A:
Q: I heard that ninjas are always cruel or mean. What’s their problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, ninjas can be mean OR totally awesome.

Q: What do ninjas do when they’re not cutting off heads or flipping out?
A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they stab.

According to ‘The History of Ninja’, in the year 440AD, 2 ninja’s killed an entire squadron of pirates and didn’t even think twice about it.

If your primary reason for training is to learn how to assassinate people in medieval japan then go for the ninjitsu. That’s a fact.