Last night, me and Claire (I know you’re supposed to say Claire and I .. but that just sounds pretentious) went to my mate Petes leaving do, he decided a few weeks ago to go live in Spain, git.

I decided to dress up for the occasion, (wear a watch!).

My FishBone watch is HUGE and most people think looks stupid, but I love it, trouble is it no longer works (I suspect it needs winding or something), but I’ve never bothered to investigate why it doesn’t work because I never wear watches on anything other than special occasions. (I have a mobile, I don’t need no poncy watch).

So it’s stuck at ten to seven.  Claire muttered at me that i’d feel stupid if anybody asked me the time and I had to get my mobile out instead of looking at my watch, but I had a cunning plan for a running gag…

We were supposed to arrive at 7, but Claire was still doing her hair, or makeup or whatever so we were late, but that was fine cos when we arrived and Pete said “You’re late!”, I pointed to my watch and said “but it’s only ten to seven”.  Hilarity then ensued.

Over the course of the night, many people asked me the time, I’d always reply “it’s ten to seven” and point at my watch,.  This became a running joke to such an extent that people were queueing up to ask me the time.

This was the joke that would give me my very own catchphrase…

Or at least that was the plan…

Sadly, nobody asked me the time, so the running gag never had a chance.

It would have been great though.