I bought a new mouse along with my laptop a few months ago, which has now broken.

I phoned Dell, who put me through to Logitech, who said:

“Write this reference number on a piece of paper.  Then you need to take 4 photographs.

1. Take a photo of the mouse and the piece of paper together

2. Turn the mouse upside down and take a photo with the paper.

3. Smash the mouse up with a hammer and take a photo of the bits with the paper”
..

I interrupted with a “….what?” .. “did you say to smash the mouse up with a hammer??”

He confirmed that yes, that’s what he said.

I pointed out that that seemed a little crazy, that all that was broken was that the scroll button didn’t quite work as intended.

He repeated that it needed smashing up with a hammer.

I pointed out that I’d then be without a mouse until the replacement arrives, which he had told me would be between 4 and 14 days, if they were in stock, and that he didn’t know if they were in stock.

He said I should use another mouse until the replacement arrived.

I pointed out that that’d mean I had to go out and buy another mouse to use.

He said he’d speak to his supervisor, put me on hold, came back a minute later and said:

“Yup, you have to smash it with a hammer”

Brilliant.