So, Fortnite has been a thing for a while. Like, a long while. But it’s new to me.

mcpheeJnr started playing it, I signed up so I could play with him – and now I play whether he’s here or not. Classic parenting move: “I’ll just join in so we can spend time together,” cut to three days later and I’m dropping solo into Crime City at midnight, whispering one more game to no one in particular.

Now, for the uninitiated (i.e. fellow time travellers from 2017), Fortnite is free. As in, legally costs-zero-dollars free. No up-front fee. No monthly subscription. You can play the whole thing without spending a single cent.
Unless you want to buy character skins.

At first, I felt pretty smug – who pays real money to dress up a cartoon character in a video game? I demonstrated my iron resolve not to spend on cosmetic nonsense, confidently equipped my generic default dude with his generic default pickaxe, and set off into battle.

Besides, I had to be a good digital role model. Show mcpheeJnr how to spot and resist those flashy in-game sales pitches. Gotta lead by example, right?

Then I saw the Stormtrooper skin.

Now, it’s objectively stupid to spend money on purely cosmetic skins. Why would anyone do that? It’s such a waste of..
.. but I mean, it would be pretty cool to run around as a Stormtrooper.
Maybe I could just get that one. You know. To have a cool character. Just the one.

So I became a Stormtrooper.

Then Lara Croft showed up.

Next thing I know: Boba Fett. Then Chewbacca. I told myself it would be irresponsible – irresponsible, mind you – to leave the Star Wars season without picking up at least one Wookiee.

It’s fine. I’m still in control.

Oh – but now there’s a Knight Rider skin for the cars. I could drive K.I.T.T. Just like I’d dreamed of back in the 1980s, when talking cars were the future and The Hoff was the ultimate cool.

And then they added Street Fighter 2 characters. I could be Ryu.
Definitely spent too much time and money on him back in the arcade days.

I’d like to say that was my moment of clarity – when I remembered my earlier commitment to set a good example – and realised enough was enough. That I have more than enough skins to fully enjoy the game, and it’s time to stop.

But the Ryu purchase was only a few hours ago. And although I haven’t bought anything since.. I also haven’t logged in yet to see what’s in the shop today.

Still – I think I’m good now.
Probably.
Maybe.

After all, showing mcpheeJnr how to resist those tempting in-game hooks is important. Time to put the brakes on and stick to it.

.. But if tomorrow they’re selling an Indiana Jones skin? Or the A-Team van? Or anything Doctor Who?

I make no promises.