This is the other story I said that I’d tell soon, to go with accidentally calling Percy Sugden a boring old fart to his face, and being framed for pinching Sarah Greenes bum.

I used to have a real thing about Cindy Crawford, and about 6 years ago she did a Playboy spread, so I decided I NEEDED that copy of Playboy.

I generally don’t buy porn however, the only other time I can think of is when I was 17 or something and plucked up the courage to buy one from the newsagent in town.

So I was driving home from my girlfriends (Sarah), and stopped at the Knutsford service station on the motorway.. which I figured was the least embarrassing place to buy porn.. there’s NO WAY I’d see anyone I know.

I grabbed Playboy from the top shelf.. and took it to the till…

It was in one of the plastic wrappers they sometimes use that is transparent for the title of the mag, but covers up the picture on the front..

The girl on the till couldn’t find the price beneath the covered up bit, but tried so hard to see it without removing the cover that she was holding it up to the light to get a better view … showing my porn mag in front of all the other customers.. in the end she had to take it out of the plastic cover, and still couldn’t find the price.. so everyone got a good view of exactly what I was buying..

It was majorly embarassing, but at least nobody that knew me was in the shop ..

Then the guy behind me started taking the piss, and playing up to the other customers at my expense.. it was Linda Lucardi’s husband .. the git.

Not that I’ve memorised the husbands of every topless model, he was famous (a bit) himself, he played Peter the gay hairdresser in Brookside for years.

Walking back to my car, I passed his, and Linda was in the passenger seat.

He got his come uppance though, a few years later he was arrested for using internet chatrooms to lure a young girl to his house.

Albeit that was a storyline in Coronation Street where he played the bad guy luring Sarah Louise … but it did me good to see him get punched!

Oh and the Cindy photos were great!